Looking Back

I am having a hard time believing that it has already been a year since my tummy looked like this! 

This picture was taken on Friday, July 22nd, 2011 which was my official last day of work.

Looking back a year, I can't even remember or imagine life without "Mr. Man".  BUT, with that said,  I still can't believe Jameson will be a YEAR old TOMORROW!!  Truly, time has just been flying by and I can't believe we have a toddler on our hands.  Life is such a journey that has so many twists and turns.  

If I were to TRY and guess what my life would be like one year after Jameson's birth, there is absolutely NO WAY I could have pictured this.... South Dakota, Stay-at-home mommy, selling our first home, renting a town home...  Absolutely NO WAY!  But, in the end, I wouldn't trade it for the world. (even all the hard times)  

I have an amazing husband and son!

Jameson - Mommy and Daddy love you with all our hearts!  You truly are a blessing and our little miracle man.  You make each and everyday special and we look forward to watching you grow up!  

The second I saw you it was 

Love at First Sight!  

CHANGE

***Ok... So, this is a post that I have been working on for a while and I want to put a warning out there to anyone reading... I feel this is pretty "deep" and it's not the happy-go-lucky post I usually write...  So, if you are looking for a fun-filled Hansen Family Homepage post, just give me a day or two and our fun family times will be right back at ya!***

As time closes in on Jameson's first birthday (I still can't believe it's been a year) I have been thinking... A LOT...  and trying to do some reflecting on the last 12 months and everything that has gone on in such a short period of time.

CHANGE...  The definition of our life over the last year.  I sit and reflect on the word CHANGE and can finally say... It is OK!  CHANGE really can be a good thing... You may not realize or even believe it at first or for a long period of time, but it will all be OK in the end.  That statement has taken me quit sometime to figure out (haha maybe a... YEAR!)

11:59pm Sunday, July 24, 2011 - Did I really just wet the bed in my sleep... Man, I am three days away from being 40 week pregnant, can't sleep, HOT, HUGE, everything on my body is either so swollen its the size of a house or so sore it's to the point I don't even know if it's attached to my body anymore...  Seriously, what has my life come to?!?!  And, the man of my dreams is literally snoring away in dream-land to my left and I am laying here, wet and in misery...  WAIT!  Pee... NO... OH MY GOSH!  MY WATER JUST BROKE!  Thank heavens I didn't wet my pants, but READY, SET, GO!  IT'S BABY TIME!

Oh yes, that was only the beginning of what was to come.  After 17 hours of labor (5 1/2 of them pushing) we had a beautiful 9lb 6oz baby boy!  In an ambulance... on his way to the Children's hospital NICU (without mommy and daddy) in St. Paul and a mommy and daddy sitting with WIDE eyes trying to figure out what just happened, but still in Woodbury...  Yes, baby is on his way to St. Paul and WE WERE IN WOODBURY!  That does not make sense...

Anyways, I am not trying to go on with a sob story, but to continue with the meaning of this post... CHANGE!  I knew my life would change July 25th, but I surely did not think it would start like that.  Well, let me quickly say that J is just fine...  He spent the first week of life in the NICU, but all is well!  He is a happy, healthily (almost) 26lb boy!

Again, CHANGE...  Ready or not, mommy hood was in full force!  That first week may have taken this mommy and daddy by surprise, but looking back now, it was just a small piece of what was to come and what we had to get use to.  I thought, Ok, I handled a pretty stressful birth, I can handle anything with a newborn.  No problem... right?  Well, just five short weeks later, Jameson may have been the center of our world, but the world around the three of us was in an up-roar!  Movers in and out of the house, our first family house in a disarray, the nursery that I spent MONTHS planning and decorating in boxes and everything was about to change... AGAIN...  Yes, let's just toss a move to South Dakota on top of just having a baby...  No problem... Right?  Thank heavens our house sold in 4 short days, but I do believe that was something I was actually praying would not happen.  Truthfully, I was not ready to give up Woodbury and I didn't realize how hard it would be until we were almost 5 hours away... In a rental... In a new home... With a newborn...  No one around us we knew...  Wow!

CHANGE... I was planning on going back to work after my 12 weeks of maternity leave...  NOPE... Toss in stay-at-home mom duties and there I was.  Don't get me wrong, I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be home with J, but that was not how I pictured my life.  I wanted to work... I wanted to have a career... But (yes here it is again) CHANGE was what I had to adapt to.  Again, I wouldn't change it for the world, and let me say, being in a brand new area not knowing anyone, there was no way I would have felt comfortable dropping Jameson off at a daycare center or home...

Call me weird, but one of the hardest parts of this last year was leaving our team of doctors/nurses in Woodbury.  I absolutely LOVE Dr. Sheehy and her team.  They got me... they got Luke... They got US!  She was there for it all.  She was the first doctor I actually trusted and she knew it from the beginning.  I met doctor Sheehy shortly after Luke left for Afghanistan and she immediately connected with me and figured me out.  There was no way I was going to let anyone else deliver our children, take care of me... take care of my family other than Dr. Sheehy...  CHANGE...  We are now almost 5 hours away and let me tell you, this has been one of the hardest things to let go.  We did our "milestone" follow ups through out the year back in MN, but it has taken me almost 11.5 month to find a doctor here for Jameson.  

Ok, Ok... I know you are wanting a point to this post and you want me to wrap this up...
Personally, it has been a very rough road.  I think admitting that has been such a struggle in my life because I know what I have is very special and I am very fortunate for what I got.  I have had SO many people tell me I should not complain because I am home with my son... I should not complain because my husband is doing what he loves... I should not complain because we decided to have a child right after Luke returned home from Afghanistan and we really didn't know what the future held for us.  And I took every ones word for it... When I would complain I felt guilty.  I felt bad for not being happy for what I had.  And truthfully I started getting angry because I wasn't happy and couldn't figure out why.

So... here is the real point.  CHANGE has and will always be hard for me.  I get comfortable in something and I am content.  I like the way things are when life is in a routine.  CHANGING it up throws me for a loop and I tend to struggle.  Taking the time over the last month to reflect on the year (this was with Luke and I) has taught me so many things about myself and my relationship.  I am sharing this not to get people worried, mad, or think I want attention, but to understand that things a) don't happen as they are planned and b) admitting to the fact that you are not happy is OK!  I truly could not figure out why I was so sad, so mad... everything... when I had the world right in front of me.  All the CHANGE over the year really took a toll on me... on who I was as a person and a mom, and I couldn't admit that I wasn't happy with me.  I thought admitting to postpartum depression would make me a bad mom... Would make others think badly of me... but really, I feel SO much better now that I am figuring all this out because I was feeling bad that I wasn't enjoying my time at home.  (don't get me wrong, my boys are the light of my life, but deep down, I - personally- was struggling).  I feel like all my friends/family would judge me for not being happy or excited about what was going on in my life.  I was more worried about what others thought rather than dealing with the facts and the struggles with me.

Anyways, so there you have it.  CHANGE is dealt with in so many ways by everyone.  There are good CHANGES and bad CHANGES... CHANGES that are unexpected and CHANGES that are planned.  I want everyone to know that we are just fine on this end and by writing this, I just want all new moms to know that it is OK to struggle, to work through hard times and it is 110% OK to not always be a HAPPY MOM!  You are not a bad mom for thinking like that... You are not giving up on your child... your husband or significant other... You just need time to get through the hormonal change (WOW those things are crazy nuts!) and figure out what makes you happy!

I have the most amazing husband and son in the world, I want to be the best wife and mother to both of them.  Although I struggle with change, and everything going on in this crazy game called life, I feel so blessed to be where I am today and to have the love and support from my boys.    


   

Giggle Monster

Ok, I know I am his mom, but I could watch this video of Jameson giggling ALL DAY LONG!  I promise you, the only thing making him laugh is me flipping my hair from side to side! (don't worry, you can't see me in the video... just J!)

He is easily entertained!

That giggle melts my heart :-) 

Crazy Man!

So, we either have a football player on our hands or a gymnast!  Let me tell you, Mr. Man has no fear when it comes to getting to places/things he wants!  This video cracks me up just watching Jameson crawl all over Luke!  I hope you enjoy

A LOT of RnR

Oh and by RnR, I mean RUN and RUN some more!  There is truly no rest and relaxation in that statement!

Our fourth of July long weekend definitely did not consist of much rest or relaxing, but it was a lot of fun and we wouldn't have changed it at all!

Call us crazy, but we had the brilliant idea to leave for WI Tuesday night once Luke got off work.  So, 12:15 a.m. and we hit the road...  We "thought" that J would actually (possibly... prayed) sleep being as though it was the middle of the night, but that really was not the case the entire way... Now don't get me wrong, he slept for a while...  I would say he was awake at least 2 of the 4.5 hour drive back home.  Oh well...  He was in a great mood once we arrived to Nana and Gpa Marson's house so it worked out.

Wednesday was actually pretty productive and tons of fun (even though we were running on VERY little sleep - I slept 2 hours while Luke was at work Tuesday night and Luke took a 3 hour nap once we got to Ona).  To be perfectly honest, I was a little nervous how Wednesday was going to go because of the lack of sleep, but like I said, we were troopers and fun was had by all!  My brother was actually in town, so I think that also helped us keep going and survive with such little rest... We wanted to soak up as much time with him as possible since he was leaving the next day.

Anyways, my mom had made plans with her best friend to head out to their house and enjoy a relaxing afternoon by the pool!  Let me tell you, it was great to see everyone and hang out, but it was even more wonderful considering it was over 100 degrees outside!  A HUGE thank you goes out to Debbie and Jim for the wonderful hospitality and great pool party!  Such a great afternoon :-)

That evening, mom, Adam, Luke and I decided to brave the heat and head down to Riverfest to enjoy the fireworks.  (Gpa and Jameson were in bed)  I hadn't been to Riverfest in years, so although it was hot, it surly was nice to enjoy the fireworks like the good ol' days!  

It was back in the car for Luke and I on Thursday!  Adam, Luke and I headed to Milwaukee to enjoy an afternoon Brewer game.  Yes, call us crazy for going to an outdoor game in 100+ degree heat, but we had so much fun and made great memories!  Not to mention, Adam's best friend Bryan joined the fun, so it was great to see him and catch up as well.  Now, tailgating was not so much fun, but we did a "no-no" and decided to enjoy a couple cold beverages in the air conditioned car.  Although the Crew lost, we sure had a great time and it was so much fun to spend one more day with Adam.

 Bryan and Adam during our "tailgate party"

Heading into the game

After the game, we said our goodbyes to Adam and Bryan and Luke and I jumped BACK into the car and headed to Ona.  We had yet another busy day ahead of us Friday!

Bring on Friday... We were up and at em' bright and early so we could head to Winona to spend the morning with Luke's mom! (the 30 minute drive from  Ona to Winona seemed like a blink of the eye compared to the hours of driving we put in the previous days)  We hadn't seen Grandma Jean since Easter, so we were all very excited to get some quality time with her.  Play, play, play is exactly what J wanted to do as soon as we got to Winona.  He was all over the place from the moment we walked in... Or should I say from the moment he realized there was a dog in the house (yes, Mr. Man LOVES dogs, but what he doesn't know is a puppy is no where in the near future for this family - hahaha)  Grandma Jean was in heaven with her little man!  You know you have a special Grandma when she is crawling on the hardwood floors with your 11 month old and having the time of her life!  Love you Jean!  The four of us went for a lunch date to Jefferson's before we had to say our goodbyes and head over to see Luke's dad and step mom.  Thank you for a wonderful morning, Jean.  Like I said before, we were so excited to spend some quality time with you and can't wait to see you and Gundy next weekend for J's birthday party.  

Off to Luke's dad house we went for a quick visit.  Luke was spending the afternoon with his dad talking "business talk" so J and I made a fast stop before heading back to Ona for nap time.  Although our visit was short and sweet, it was great to see Mike and Carol :-)  We will see you both next weekend and can't wait to get some play time in with Grandma and Grandpa Hansen!!

After nap time, my dear friend Jenna, her husband Nate and their adorable daughter Ellie stopped by for a playdate!  So much fun!!!!!  J and Ellie (well they might not know this yet...) WILL BE prom dates in years to come, so they do need to get to know each other at a young age and understand the plans their mom's have for the two of them!  haha.  As you can see in the pictures, Ellie and J look about the same size, but foolish to the eye, Ellie is actually a year OLDER than J.  She is truly such a little peanut and doll.  So great to see you guys and watch our the little ones play.  (hope we can do that more often in Madison - hahaha)  

J's face is priceless in this picture!

Naturally J wanted EVERYTHING Ellie was playing with

Saturday... Saturday...  Truly, Saturday's event was the real reason for our trip home.  It was my ten year class reunion.  So many GREAT things have happened over the last ten years...  Its hard to believe life can take some many turns in such short periods of time.  

Saturday morning we got up and headed out to see Great-Grandma Marson.  That was one entertaining event!  Jameson was so into G-Gma's cat Isabella and G-Gma was so entertained by J!  It was such a funny chain reaction to witness.  

J chasing Isabella

G-Gma and J enjoying some snacks together

This pictures melts my heart!

After our morning visit, it was off to lunch and then some errands for J's up-coming 1st birthday party! 

Waiting for his food! 

Saturday evening was my reunion!  I just have to say THANK YOU to Drew Davis for putting the event together!  You did a great job.  It truly was great to see so many people I haven't seen in years and catch up on every one's life.  It's was also so fun to hear what everyone is up to these days and I have to honestly say, I was so interested in all the very successful people from our class.  I am proud to be apart of Ona's Class of 2002!  It melts my heart to hear all the stories of our classmates and where they are now.  

Just a quick side note...  The story that touched my heart the most was from Caitlin Callister (Caitlin... If you are reading this I hope you don't mind I put your name in here!)  But truly, you are an inspiration to all!  Caitlin decided to take a chance and applied for an inner city teaching position on the East coast.  She was offered the position, packed her bags and headed out east all by herself.  The part of her story that touched me so much was her passion for her job!  The entire time she was talking about what she was doing her eyes were so bright and the smile on her face NEVER faded!  When she mentioned the children she teaches you could tell her heart was wide open and she truly cared for each and everyone of the kids in her classroom.  Thank you for all you do for our youth Caitlin and I would be honored if my child would be so lucky to have such a passionate teacher like you some day!    

Unfortunately I didn't get many pictures at the reunion, but here are the couple I did end up capturing...

Luke and then headed off to a wedding party to celebrate Tristan and Mike's up-come nuptials in Napa!  Congrats you two!  We wish you a life time of happiness :-)  

Sunday was time to say goodbye and hit the road and head back to good ol' South Dakota!  Although the weekend was jam packed (like always) it was great to spend some time back in our hometowns and see so many wonderful friends and family!  

Women's Day

What a GREAT start to the weekend!  A couple of my girlfriends and I participated in the Sioux Falls Women's Day at the Outdoor Campus.  Such a great idea and so much fun!  (Even in the scorching heat!)  What is Women's Day you ask?  Well naturally I am going to tell you!  (haha)

So, basically, the point of Women's Day is to allow all women to try new activities that are typically geared towards men or typically men participate in.  (don't get me wrong, there are many wonderful outdoor-sie women out there and I give each and everyone of you so much credit!)  I have to say, this was such a great time because we got to try things I personally would have never a) thought to do or b) just gone out and tried on my own.  

Here is the list of the actives you could try:

Canoeing

Kayaking

Geocashing

BB Gun shooting

Archery

Pellet Gun shooting

Camp Cooking

Fishing

Going into the event, I really had no expectations of the day only because I really am not an "outdoor-sie" type of person... But let me tell you, it was spectacular!  AND... I got to shoot a gun for the first time :-)  (well, a BB and pellet gun, but hey.. it's a gun)  

All four of us in our little group decided to try: kayaking, BB gun shooting, archery, pellet gun shooting and camp cooking.  I would have to say my favorite was kayaking... BUT the peanut butter/marshmallow/chocolate chip tortilla burrito we made on the camp fire came in a VERY close second!  (they were to die for!!  and let me tell you, that took me by surprise)  

To be perfectly honest, all the activities were a ton of fun and a great experience... Not to mention I was with some pretty fun women which just made the morning perfect!  

Here are a few pictures from our "adventure" at Outdoor Campus

BB Gun Station

Do I look like a pro?

Jill, Lori and Tammy shooting BB Guns

Archery

Tammy "killed" the dear like she was a pro!

Great Job Tammy!

Lori showing off her skills!

Pellet Gun

Great aim Jill!

Thanks for such a fun morning and lunch Jill, Lori and Tammy!  I can't wait for next year!

12-1 = 11... Yes 11 MONTHS!

Breathe Abby... Breathe....  11 months?!?!  Already??  I feel like the last year has gone by in 11 minutes!

Once again, where has the time gone?  Really, the next time I write my "birthday" posting, it REALLY will be Jameson's birthday and he will be ONE!  This mommy is truly having a panic attack and in denial!  It was just a short year ago that I was wishing and hoping I could fast forward a year so I wouldn't be huge and pregnant and now I would give anything to go back to the huge baby bump...

Anyways... This past month has been... well... fun and stressful all in one.  Mostly fun, but I can't leave out the stress because it's true.  Our little man finally learned to crawl!  (yay!) AND walk behind toys... AND stand up in his crib!  Busy, Busy month I tell ya!  Although it was pretty stressful at first with a little man always on the move (and thinking I had the house almost baby-proofed but quickly realized I was very wrong!), it truly has been a blessing and so much fun.  I can tell Jameson is much happier now that he can move around and get to all the things/places he wants!  The house is a total disaster by the end of the day with toy explosions EVERYWHERE, but I truly love it and don't mind one bit!

11 Month Statistics

Weight: 26lbs 

(this was on our home scale, so it may be off just a bit)

Height: So, we tried really hard to get J's length..
The best we could get was about 31 inches...  give or take just a little due to
a squirming 11 month old!

Diaper Size: still a 4

Clothing Size: 12 months along with some 18 month

This last month has really been an "eating" learning curve for me!  We have been working really hard to get Jameson into a regular eating schedule that incorporates three main meals a day along with two regular snack times.  He still gets an eight ounce bottle when he wakes up in the morning and right before bed, but overall, the goal is to slowly cut back on the formula intake and increase on the real food.  I also have to mention the fact that we have been playing the "sippy cup" trial and error game for quite some time now.  (So, anyone out there looking for sippy cups, we have pretty much bought out Target and Babies R Us' supply!)  As of today, the progress of sippy cup training is getting a little better, but there hasn't been too much to report on just yet.  (lots of messes - between Jameson throwing them EVERYWHERE and them leaking everywhere while he is trying them out... let me tell you, formula has been splattered places I thought would never be possible!)  

I would have to say one of our favorite developments has been the fact that Jameson LOVES to play with all of his toys and... and... loves to play all by himself!  Don't get me wrong, we still follow him around, chat with him as much as possible, but we are quickly learning that he is actually enjoying his time alone and learning a ton of problem solving skills along the way! (I think this has been difficult for me to comprehend because I have the mind set that he needs our help 24/7, needs our attention, needs mommy and daddy by his side ALL.. THE... TIME... and that is just not the case anymore)  

So on top of the stress of having a mover and shaker, Jameson is quickly developing one heck of a personality and major "testing" skills!  Let's just say the temper tantrums are starting full speed and as soon as you say "No No" he starts smiling and trying whatever he shouldn't be doing once again!  Jameson has also mastered the "fake" cry to get what he wants!  Fortunately Luke and I have caught on to that little trick quite quickly... Little Mr. Man wasn't too happy about that, but it surly makes for some great laughs on our end!   

The monthly photo shoot has really taken a turn for the worse I guess you would have to say!  It's almost impossible to get Jameson to sit still and, as you will soon see, whenever I say his name or put the camera up to take a picture he quickly turns away or around!  Although the pictures may not be the greatest, they do make for some good laughs and great stories (I can't wait for the day Jameson's significant other asks for baby pictures!  He is in so much trouble)

I think I caught the one second he was actually sitting down

Seriously ALWAYS on the move!

I gave up on the sticker for a while and just put it on his back

so he wouldn't tear it off and so you could actually see the number

Trying really hard to get a picture with his sign

Such a big boy!

I can't believe it's been 11 months since Jameson came into our lives!  He truly has made our family perfect!  Love you little man!!!